dance like there's no tomorrow

So I came across this while reading some good old Donald Miller. He's one of my favorite. He just knows how to hit the spot.


I think to myself about the weight in my pack. Last night Paul and I talked a bit about all the stuff that we carry with us, all the weight we walk around with, emotional baggage, thinking we need stuff that we don't need. We weren't getting very deep or anything, but I keep thinking about it, and how much stuff I walk around with, about how life is a dance and God just meant for us to enjoy life, not to get bogged down in sin and religion. Just be good, it seems like, is the point of life; be kind to people; don't hate anybody; forgive people because we all make mistakes. I know there are always going to be exceptions to this kind of thinking, but it seems like life would be better if we could just let go of the thought we need more and more stuff to be happy, more and more of the approval of others.


I think he is so right at this. Let go of your problems and dance. If there is someone there who is offering to make our trip so much easier, why the heck would we continue to hold on to these things that make life a mess? I don't get it. I'm at fault for it too, but I just don't get why we still do it.

sing to the king

Everyday there is one person that I always look forward to seeing. His name is tyron and he is this big black guy. I share a class with him and he is an awesome example of what a Christian should look like walking around.

Everyday I know when he is around because no matter where he is or who is around him, you just hear this guy singing at the top of his lungs as if no one could hear him. It's truly beautiful. Everyday is a new hymn or worship song. Tyron never misses a day at doing this. It makes me smile so big when I hear him. When I am having hard days, Tyron is there to make me smile. I don't know this guy personally, but he makes my day. Why can't we all walk around and sing at the top of our lungs at school or anywhere in public? Well, I know why most people don't at Samford. Everyone is too self conscious that it may not be 'cool' to do that. I swear it's like high school here sometimes. Who your friends are and what you wear is your life.

This should be my prayer, or everyone's for that matter. That we are so consumed with the love of Jesus we can't help but sing to the world at the top of our lungs.

What A Beautiful God

As I look into the stars
Pondering how far away they are
How You hold them in Your hands
And still You know this man
You know my inner most being, oh
Even better than I know, than I know myself
What a beautiful God

As I look off into the distance
Watching the sun roll on by
Beautiful colors all around me, oh
Painted all over the sky
The same hands that created all of this
They created you and I
What a beautiful God

What a beautiful God
And what am I, that I might be called Your child
What am I, what am I
That You might know me, my King
What am I, what am I
That You might die, that I might live
What am I, what am I, what am I
-shawn mcdonald


So my weekend was amazing. I finally got to go to Auburn and see my best friend. I got hug. I got many amazing hugs from the people that I love. 



You know, sometimes I just cannot get over the fact that God loves me. God loves every part of me that I sometimes don't even like. I love this song. It is one of my favorite songs. I love how it shows that the same God who created the awe and wonders of this world, created us. His favorite awe and wonder. At points when I had time to myself this weekend I just couldn't stop praising God for the people He has placed in my life; My best friend of course who I layed in bed with for hours catching up on life. Boys, friends, school, Jesus, old times, and every silly girl thing you can think of. I tell ya, I LOVE being a girl; my mom and dad who show me everyday how to live as Christ in and apart from marriage; and my new friends God has placed in me life. I would lay outside and look up into the sky and wonder. Wonder everything. What am I that God would choose to bless me? What am I that I receive His new grace every morning? Who am I that God would choose to love me?



I learned a lot this weekend. I learned that it is ok that I feel alone sometimes. It's hard, but it's good for the spirit. It just shows me more and more how much God cares for me. He wants me to be so alone right now that no one will interfere with our relationship. Isn't that what every girl longs for? For someone to be so in love and captivated with you that nothing can break it down or interfere with that love? Well now I see how much I really have that. God loves me so much that He is willing to let me go through this tough time so that I will grow in Him. I have the best boyfriend ever.


I have a whole new view on these changes in my life. I am at a point where I am creating a life that is completely my own. This is my time to take everything I have ever learned and start the rest of my life. Samford is going to be amazing. I am not saying it won't continue to be hard and even get harder down the road, but I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that I have some amazing things in store. 



And now I leave you with a phrase. You have no idea what it means because it's in greek, but it's funny.
Yia sou file. Kalieo tous bous.

Changes

Everything is changing and its messin with my mind
I try to stop the world from turning
But it's just a waste of time
Somethin has awaken and its causing me to see
That maybe everything is the same
And all that's changing is me
-maddie mcconnell

I tend to relate best to songs. There always seems to be one song that is particularly true in my life. The song changes very often, but I love music because there is always some truth that I can identify myself within the lyrics.

I just started a new college. Transfer student in fact.
Since my junior year in high school Samford is where I wanted to be. I knew Samford is where God has me and I still know it. I couldn't wait to finally come to school here. I just never thought about it being hard leaving everything that I know. Just because you are in God's will never guarantees that you will be happy. At least at first. I transferred here as a sophomore, so I kind of feel like a freshman once again. Starting over with new faces, new work, and different atmosphere. I feel like this time I really have left home. Im only 3 hours in distance, but a lot farther than my previous college. It wasn't hard to leave before. I took everything I knew to college with me, including best friends.

I am almost done with my third full week here and it has been emotionally and spiritually challenging. I have never been alone in my life. Never. I have always had somebody to turn to when I do feel like I am alone. My best friends, my sisters, or my mother. But I don't have that right now. Talking on the phone and being physically present are two VERY different things. One of my love languages is touch. I have to always be touching someone. Not in a gross and PDA way, but I love to hug and cuddle with my girlfriends and just love on other people. Well, I didn't know anyone coming here so I don't have that right now. You can't even imagine how hard this is for me. I can't remember the last time I had a hug. A good long, I love you, I miss you, I am sharing your burdens with you sort of hug. I fell to my knees crying today asking Jesus to hug me so hard that I could feel it.

I've never been the new girl anywhere in my life. So if you have, then you feel my pain. I am surrounded by everyone who already has their "groups" of friends. Not that everyone I have met isn't nice, but it's hard to make friends. No one seems to want new people in their group.
Although, I have met one group of people that I have shared quite a bit of time with. They are the girls on the Samford soccer team and a few of their guy friends. These people blew me away. The first night I hang out with them, we talked about Jesus. It's the most encouraging thing for me when you are gathered with a group of people who are just so real and just want to talk about Jesus. We weren't in church or around a church group. Just a few of us hanging out in the apartments talking about Jesus. So naturally I fall in love with each one of these people. I walked away and praised Jesus for allowing me just to be in their presence.

However, due to that most all of them are on the soccer team, its hard. Im the only non-athletic person and they practice a lot. They travel on the weekends and have a busy schedule.

For the first time in my life I feel so alone. The pro to this is that I have never spent more time with Jesus in my life. I know that I have to solely lean on HIM during this hard time, but then I need people sometimes too. I get so excited just when my phone rings. I don't even get to talk on the phone hardly with my friends. I crave to talk to people face to face, but I don't always have someone there. Most of the time I don't.

The thing I am looking forward to this weekend is that I get to see my best friend. It's been a couple months since I've seen her. It has been 15 years that we have stuck by each other.

I can't wait to see Christi. She's going to give me a hug.