It's Not Over. Barbarian for Life.

Right now I am sitting in the LAX airport waiting for my flight as I write my final blog from my Barbarian Internship with Mosaic. I am one of the last interns to leave. Most everybody left on Monday. Sunday night was our last night all together at the Mayan Club gathering in downtown LA. I really cannot remember the last time I had cried that hard leaving from somewhere, even when I moved away from home this summer when I came out here. I had to say goodbye to what felt like a real family in my heart, so many people and relationships. My boss Sueann was the hardest. She has been one of the most instrumental people in my life, along with my mentor Mandy, in shaping who I have changed to become this summer. She just stared me straight in the eyes never looking away and spoke to my soul about the changes she saw in me. It is funny because when I first got here she said that the staff was like, “Who is this southern Hollywood obsessed girl? What is her deal and why do she care so much about Hollywood?” She told me all about how she has seen me grow so much in not only for a passion for the hearts of Hollywood, but all of LA. She said she has seen such a huge change in my heart for the way I can love and serve people and the endless possibilities for my heart out in LA. Sueann also said a lot more things and I was seriously balling the whole dang time! She was so excited for me because she said I am going back a totally different person. She is right. I feel like a completely different person from the inside out.



I truly feel like I am walking around knowing what my soul feels like and in tune with it. It is so hard to explain the things I have learned and the person I have become. I love that I have just a few people from literally all over the world that I can always share this experience with. I wish you all reading my blog could understand what I have gone through and seen in this season of my life. I have been awakened to the possibilities of what God can do with just one person! I have been given real permission, opportunity, and ability from the church to do what God asks and they actually meant it. How often does that happen to you? The people of God are so much more able and equipped than you might ever realize. I have been apart of a movement that has enabled me and for the rest of my life. I cannot imagine not being apart of Mosaic for the rest of my life when I graduate school. I need LA in my life. I feel like I have finally found what my heart has been searching for. I knew there was more to the church and Christians than going to church on a weekly basis and then going about our lives achieving the American Dream. I just knew deep down the New Testament had a different picture in mind of what it meant to follow Jesus and I have found it. I have been taught and so torn apart to become a better follower of Jesus. I pray I can never go back to comfortable “Christianity” because you will never find that in scriptures. Un-radical followers are not in the Bible, it was never God’s intention. We are meant to be radical by living in the talents and passions God has fashioned in our hearts. The beautiful thing about that is that it can look like anything!






Mosaic called this internship the Barbarian Experience because that is how they see Jesus calling us to live. As Barbarians, as radical followers. I will take this experience with me for the rest of my life and I am truly forever changed. I hope that any of you that kept up with my stories and experiences this summer can be encouraged by that. So from the bottom of my heart THANK YOU for supporting me through your prayers and money. You were apart of me becoming a Barbarian. May you come to see our journey with God in the say way. Peace and grace.










PS. Read Erwin McManus’s book “The Barbarian Way”. This is what the internship was based upon.


For greater things have yet to come and greater things are still to be done in this city.

My Heart's Home

I have one week left of my internship here. I cannot even express how fast this has just gone by. This has easily been the fastest season of my life. Where did my summer go??!! I love Hollywood. I am moving back when I graduate in May, or at least this is the big plan for now. I have always wanted to be here for good since I really was a little girl. If you are in the family, this you know already! I feel like for the first time in my life I am living out the passions that God has rooted in my heart since I was a child. Do you have any idea what that really feels like? To live FULLY alive and feeling like you are doing what you are created to do? It really is a constant high for the soul. Its so much deeper than just an internship or helping out others. It is living out the purpose for why I was made. It is so hard thinking that I have to leave to finish school for a year. I know I have to finish school and that is the smart decision. But I just hate having to leave this life behind for a bit. I want to be back here with every beat of my heart when I graduate. Pray with me through the next year that this will all be made possible through the grace of our Savior Jesus.




So I am still TOTALLY addicted to my Pinkberry frozen yogurt out here! Why can't the south pick up on this??!!! You just don't understand how amazing it is! I have it at least 3 times a week =) If I had more money out here you could guarantee I would be having it everyday haha.

Catch Up

Ok lets catch up. Lots has been going on these past couple weeks. First off, one of our interns had to leave this past Monday. Something back home happened and she had to leave within a days notice. It was so sad! Her name is Sara Tindall from Michigan and she is such a wonderful soul to be around! It was so awesome because all the interns just dropped everything they had planned for the night and we all got together for her and had a farewell dinner for her. It was so great for all of us to be together for once! We never have been altogether to hang out since week 1 back at the beginning of June. We all went to BJ's Steakhouse and Brewery and had such a wonderful time bonding. And we only have like a week and a half left...



So last week half of the interns went to the Scientology Center and the other half of us went to the poorest part of LA called Skid Row. Its a couple streets here in downtown LA that you DO NOT go to alone. Hundreds of homeless people fill the streets. It is so bad with the homeless generation here that the government has actually marked off these couple of blocks to the homeless. At night you could drive down Skid Row and tons of tents and sleeping bags just line the streets. It was really hard to see. When we arrived we met up with Adrian from the church who heads up SERVE LA at Mosaic which involves the church with tons of humanitarian organizations from around the city. He split us up into pairs, guys with girls, and our goal was to befriend a homeless person and buy someone a cup of coffee, a burger, or a candy bar and meet up at the end of the street. So I was with one of the guys from Germany, Fabian. He has such a big heart and is so brave. Yet we had a very rough learning experience among the homeless. We actually didn't accomplish our goal. The first 3 people we talked to were not hungry. They refused food, coffee, or anything from us. It wasn't pride or anything, they just were not hungry for food. The last guy we talked to didn't want anything but company from us. His name is Henry Lewis. Fabian and I talked with him for a good while about Life and God and the people around him. We found out these people are not hungry. They get food for free right down the road at the Rescue Mission every meal of every day. Some people actually even have paying jobs but come right back to the streets because Skid Row is their community. Just like Mosaic is my community, the streets are theirs. This was really hard for me. The only thing anyone wants is money from you...not food so that they can go and get their next fix on drugs. The rest of the people are crazy. They couldn't pay their bills from the nut house and were forced to live out on the streets. This is Skid Row. They don't welcome outsiders like me.



The Interns threw a hotel party for the college age folks for the Mosaic community last week as well. It was so much fun! This hotel lounge was incredible to say the least! Tons of crazy decorated rooms, poker tables, lounges, pool table, pool, hot tub, video game room like u have never seen, and awesome hangout spots. Very chic and retro. I was able to meet a lot of new people and really bonded with the one girl Lauren. She is actually from Marietta Georgia and is wonderful. We are trying to hang out as much as possible while here. She is brand new to Mosaic and I am trying really hard to helping her get connected to Mosaic because she just doesn't know where to start or who to meet. And that's what the interns are here for!



Just a picture of the mounds of office work that sometimes come with the job...not too bad actually when we all just goof off together while stuffing envelopes and folding paper. Work yet we actually love doing it.









Some lovely pictures of me helping clean up the Pasadena campus for Mosaic. This place needed some SERIOUS work to be done on it and we helped out for a few weeks. Really dirty work, but all the people that do it regularly is volunteer staff which means they don't get paid to clean it either. So we just joined in to help them. We do what we can as interns to make it as fun as possible! haha

Yeah so my weeks seem to be getting busier and busier. The times I do have off all I want to do is just crash. Im in the process of trying to get better from a terrible sinus infection. It stinks to be away from home while being sick because I dont have the comfort of my own bed and good old Mom to take care of me.




This is a picture of the South Bay gathering service that Mosaic puts on in Hermosa beach on Saturday nights. There are only about 5 interns that consistently help out with this gathering, and I am one of them. This beach service is actually one of my favorites because it is a very laid back and more intimate service. Its been off the ground for about 5 weeks now and I think that Mosaic is going to stay in South Bay for a while. They were just going to be doing a trial for 6 weeks, but it has grown much bigger and turned out better than expected. So South Bay will be having a Mosaic!


Last Saturday I got a chance to go through this event called Yelo by Mosaic. It was an all day class that goes through strengths finder's and Myer's Briggs personality typology. It really transformed my life! There are 34 different strengths and it ranks them from 1 to 34, greatest to least. However it only gives you the top 5 because they only want you to focus on your strengths and not your weaknesses. Focus on what you are good at, not what you need to improve on the most. My top 5 strengths are input, adaptability, developer, positivity, and belief. There are really long descriptions on them, but the course goes through all of your strengths and shows you what they actually look like and how it works well within a group. Its so awesome! It actually makes you see exactly how you naturally function in any sort of situations. Its so incredible to see what comes natural is actually a strength, but now I can recognize it and build upon that, especially within ministry. I then took my Myers Briggs typology which is ENFP. Much harder to explain unless you know what that is.

So Monday the interns were invited to Erwin's house for a lunch and a Q and A session. We were so extremely lucky to have the opportunity for that because interns on the past never got that and not many people at the church even get that opportunity! I tell you what, he is just the most incredible man ever. The way he can read people is like a 6th sense and almost scary! He always knows how to read the question behind the question and just how to speak to your soul. He gave some GREAT advice for all of us when we come back home in three weeks. It's not all about bringing Mosaic back to wherever we are from, but about learning how to serve and love better than anyone else in the community around us. It's been disheartening in some ways to think about going back home. I can't really express the incredible lessons that I have learned here and there is no way to share it with anyone unless they live it out here for themselves. Im excited to be completely new in my surroundings and change everything in the way I live back home, but I am going to be so sad to leave in 3 weeks. Never would I have thought I could have learned this much from Mosaic. I feel like i have finally found the movement of God that is the beat to my own heart and I have to leave it soon. Im sure i'll be back when I graduate though. I want to be apart of this incredible movement of God out here in Hollywood.



It's crazy to say but my heart needs Hollywood. We always think its the other way around...Hollywood needs you because of Jesus. But I need Hollywood. I need it because of who I am becoming and who God made me to be. My heart is living in passion. It's something I get to live out and don't ever want to be away from that.

Scientology Visit

So I just got back today from a tour of the Scientology Church of Los Angeles off of Sunset Blvd. This center was HUGE. We had a couple of staff members take us there to learn more about the sociology and culture of LA. If you want to learn about that, then Scientology cannot be left out of the equation.

This was a mind blowing experience. Definitely not like I thought they would have been, but then again it was. The guy that took us on a tour was named Tim. Tim was a very nice guy, clean cut, and very approachable. Upon entering the center you enter through this big foyer and bookstore FILLED with books, DVD's, and CD's of Ron Hubbard's writings and such. You have absolutely NO idea how much this man has written. He is the creator and founder of Scientology.

At its essence Scientology means "knowing about the word". It is very philosophical and humanitarian based. We watched a 45 minute video interview with Ron Hubbard and it is apparently the ONLY interview from him ever. He died a few years ago in case you didn't know. The video went through all aspects of their belief system: afterlife (apparently Ron can prove there is an afterlife but he wouldn't say in the interview), ethics, the Divne, medicine, the spirit realm...and so on. After the video we has a Q and A that lasted about an hour and a half because we all had so many questions.




There is so much more to Scientology than I could have ever thought. It is too much to get into, but if you are really interested to just know more you can google the name Scientology and check them out on their main website. There are a lot of things that conflict with Christianity, yet also there are many things to agree upon. This would kind of shake me while watching the video when Ron would spit out things I believe as a Christ-follower, not a self-help human follower. The best part of this experience was after the tour/Q and A was over. Our group went out to lunch and had a debrief of what we had just taken in. We critiqued what they had to say and how they approached questions. We then compared this too our own faith. This is what blew my mind. Christians are not much different than the Scientologists. Not even in how we share our faith. They are so easily able to take these deep theological questions and make them so simple and then take the answer in the direction they wanted them to go and never fully just giving an answer. Yet, we do the same when asked hard or even easy questions about our own beliefs and faith do we not? It was scary to turn the tables on ourselves and see the aspects we relate to Scientologists on. In their eyes, they can co-exists with any faith and that is what they call themselves a denominational religion. Its all about bettering yourself to help others and create the best in whatever you hold to be the highest calling in your life. They have every kind of religion that is apart of their faith. They are very relevant to LA and KNOW how to appeal to their audience and do a GREAT job at it. That is why they are so successful. We thought the Church in general could actually learn a lot from them because they are great at community and outreach.

I am just so enthralled with my experience today. Makes me reflect and question my faith that much more. It makes me more confident to stand firm in my belief and how to relate to others of Scientology even better. I want to be approachable and loving and at least understand where others are coming from in a setting of different faiths. It makes me question my motives, life goals and passions, and what makes a Christian stand out and more true than something else. Lots of thinking about this and a great challenge in my faith. I hope this may even do the same for you. And hey, if you have any questions about them please ask me! I love talking about this stuff and I know so much more about it now.

Week 4

I think this is week 4. I have begun to lose track of the days and time, which is awesome. This week I got to go to Malibu beach for a day and then that night Mosaic had a baptism service in the ocean. Some great relaxation and watching some of the boys surf. It was incredible! The baptism was right at sunset on an extremely beautiful beach with awesome fellowship. There were still plenty of local people from the beach earlier on in the day so we had random people taking part in this amazing act of obedience from many Christ followers. Two of our interns got baptized, Jay and Alex.







This past Sunday Jay, Adam, and I brought back the high school gathering at Mosaic Inland. They quit having it on Sunday’s for many reasons. Inland is struggling very much with reaching the people they want to. It wasn’t as successful as I had hoped for. It was only a few people that came and we split up into guys and girls small groups. My girls don’t really have the best attitude about being there and are really disengaged to be quite honest. It has been discouraging, yet a challenge is what I came here for. We are in the process of doing many different things and seeing what works and what doesn’t with the youth. I just have to remember that it takes a while to change things and it really is the small things that really make a difference.





So on Thursdays we get to go to improv classes for free with the church. Its so much fun! 2 hours of goofing off and trying to learn how to be good at improv. Im terrible at it, but so much fun. It is a wonderful release, stress reliever, and fun experience after a long week.



My small group leader/mentor came and visited me last weekend. I was so blessed to have her come and just pour out love on me. It felt so so great to have someone that just knows my heart, inside and out. She spoke so much encouragement and Jesus to my heart. It was really hard for me though when she left. I felt like I had a little piece of home for a weekend and its just hard to let go. I have had a really rough week missing home. It hasn’t really hit me until this week about my parents moving to Charleston and not having the same home anymore. I feel like so much of my life is moving on to completely new chapters and I have to leave behind a lot, in the best way for me though. I just miss what I had I guess you could say. I know that only bigger and better things are in store for me.





Oh yeah, I found a Chick-Fil-A!!! I had to take Sarah to the Orange Country airport on Sunday and we saw it off the exit and HAD to pull off to get one! I miss the chicken sandwich so so much. Well, we pull off aaaannnddd…its closed on Sundays! We totally forgot. It was a HUGE bummer. Its about the ONLY Chick-Fil-A in Cali. Oh well, just excited to see something from home here.



I cannot even begin to really explain all that I am continuing to learn everyday here. I meet the most fascinating and intriguing people every single day. I get to hear everyone’s stories. The age old view of what a Christian is has been completely changed. I LOVE meeting people that break that mold and image. Its not about what you look like or wear. A Christian is everyone. I really love being around this. These people are just so real and authentic with their faith. Servants, people who love, people who lead, people who have real passion. This church is attractive I guess you could say.

Oh yeah, happy fourth of July!!

The Everyday Life

So we finally got some free time the other day to just tour and shop for the first time since I have been here. We are always so so busy we have not had any time to really enjoy LA. We went shopping in Pasadena (well not really shopping because I don't have money to spend!) and it was so much fun! Incredible shops and sights. It is ridiculous how expensive it is to live out here. Money is EXTREMELY tight, especially with gas being almost 5 bucks a gallon. AGHHH. Anyways, I came across this sign when some of us went shopping and thought, "I really am made for this city"! Haha.




This is Carter (left), Mariah (middle), and Diana (right). These girls have quickly become my close friends here. There is also another girl, Suzanne, not pictured that is incredible. I love these girls so much and we have a blast. I love having these girls in this kind of environment so different for me because we all come from different places and backgrounds and can open up and be silly so comfortably.




Well, this is the man right here. The reason I am out in L.A. Pastor of Mosaic, Erwin McManus. We got to hang out his house one night for Mariah's birthday and found this cardboard cut-out of him! We had to sneak some pictures of course, lol. So this is the man behind this incredible movement here in LA...



So the best thing about LA so far is Pinkberry. No kidding. It is REAL frozen yogurt and it tastes like heaven! I have had it about 12 times by now these past few weeks. So addicting! The small cups are only 80 calories and you can add in fresh fruits, granola, candies, or cereals. It really in unbelievable! The South REALLY needs to pick up on this...




Group shot of most of the girl interns. They are ALL amazing!


I really request continued prayer for us all. We are finally getting into routines and working really hard at each of our own campuses. Pray for continued good relationships and responsibility. Please also pray for my focus out here. There are so many things I tend to focus on from home and school that need to be put to rest so that I can be fully present, right here, right now. I hate to be the one to worry and dwell on things. God is doing incredible things out here and so alive in so many people you would not expect. I wish you could all see that.

Chino

Once again, another busy week that was so jammed packed with activities and rethinking the way church has been done my enitre life. It has been an incredible journey so far and God has been completely redirecting my life and idea for what I want to be doing when I graduate.

Last night I got to hang out with the high school students in Chino for their mid-week gathering. I instantly bonded with 2 girls who are so sweet. Church just seems like a social aspect in their lives right now, but they have such sweet hearts for their age. For one of the girls it was her first time and she loved coming. I could tell immediately that they loved having me there as a college student and just loving on them. They couldn't get enough of me for the night! The 2 other interns bonded really well with the guys in the youth group and apparently this was the best mid-week gathering the students have had with being engaged, according to the youth director Scot. I can really feel the impact we are making in the students lives in the course of one week already.

This Saturday Mosaic will be starting their first gathering at South Bay beach. Please be lifting us up in prayer as we gather for the first time on the beach and that it will be yet another amazing place of rest a refuge for the broken people in LA.

This past Tuesday all the interns had a "learning lab" and it was so incredible. The theme of discussion was being a proactive person. It was such an encouraging lesson to have here. The Mosaic internship is so different from what any typical internship would be because you have almost no idea what you are doing from one day to the next. It is what we make it. We have an extreme responsibility to be active on our own- evangelism, small groups, volunteer, learning, etc. They are not giving us all these set plans and things to do. The intentions of Mosaic are to teach us how to be the most proactive that we can so we can be building relationships with the people at the church, especially the non-Christian and getting involved on our own. It is about making church the place to prepare us to live out real Love and be invited into others lives to eventually share Jesus. Because isn't this exactly how Jesus approached it? Every Sunday we all make it a goal to meet as many people as possible, get phone numbers, and make plans to reach out and build relationships. Because life is really just about relationships and conversation right? From day to day no matter where you are, you are making relationships and talking with people, good and bad. It is an incredible but awesome challenge to honestly just love on every person you meet and in a way where they feel so loved and accepted for who they are, not what they do.

My challenge for you is to do the same. Call up a friend you know doesn't know the Lord and make the plans you have been meaning to. To just sit and share life together. To reach out in love. Accept them. It is not about preaching God to everyone the first time you have the chance. If you are invited into the space of another person's life, you love on them. If you succeed in this then there is no way that Jesus will go by unnoticed in you. Because believe it or not, He is the desire of everyone's heart whether they realize it or not. This is a picture of my friend, Benji, who is a Scientologist that I met at church. He comes to Mosaic and calls it his community because he loves the community and the love he feels when he comes. He has never felt that before. He is still not a believer, but slowly asking the questions. Be praying for him.




P.S. I had to go to the hospital today because of kidney pains. Nothing severe, but I am still hurting. I would love for your prayers for my health so I can be at my best for this summer.

The "WOW" Factor

Wow. That word about sums up my days since last wednesday. It has been an incredible journey thus far, but looong and busy days. I can't breathe yet!!! But, loving life in the midst of all this =) This is the Mayan campus of Mosaic. they have 7 campuses now in L.A. I will mainly be at the campus in Chino, but we will all help out on Sunday night services at the Mayan. Its an awesome club in the middle of downtown we meet at and, in my opinion, the best service. We were literally cleaning up the club for about 3 hours that day to prepare for the service. yeah, cleaning up a nightclub you can only imagine the dirtiness of it having to clean toilets and picking up trash. Yet I was so joyful to be doing it and so was every single volunteer.







So the 18 interns are absolutely amazing. I couldn't have been paired with better people form all over the world in my opinion. There are 10 girls and 8 guys. The guys are absolutely hilarious because 6 of them are from out of the US so we have no only the great accents (haha!) but also an awesome combination of personalities and cultures. The new language for some of these mates (friends that is) is quite funny to see them try and catch on to! We all got to hang out last night for the first time with everyone here to celebrate Fabian's 24th birthday. He is from Germany and very funny. The guys got to go on a men's retreat all weekend so we surpirsed him with his first American birthday party with the most intense game of pin the tail on the donkey I have ever played!! Ha, it feels great to be a kid again sometimes...

So while the guys were away this weekend all the girls helped with a production that was performed on Sunday. One of the most POWERFUL performances I have ever witnessed or been apart of! Mosaic has the most incredible and talented community of actors, singers, dancers, and any kind of performer you can think of. Before even attending the first church service on Sunday I have never felt so apart of a church than I have here at Mosaic in L.A. of all places. THIS IS CHURCH. Just meeting new people and being apart of the team for a few days I have never met more passionate people in my life that just live to serve people because the Love of Jesus moves them so much. I mean if you read through the New Testament and try and figure out what Church is really supposed to look like Mosaic would be the picture. I mean people out here LIVE OUT THE GOSPEL every single day and in every kind of vocation you can think of! They encourage talent and creativity from every person no matter what form it takes on.I feel like I have finally found the movement of what I have been wanting to see the church live out from scripture after so much bitterness towards the church. I mean they cater to the non-Christian and church is all about them, not to have a weekly Christian gathering where everyone agrees with one another. Instead they have created this dynamic space in which every single person, race, and culture whether Atheist, homosexual, addict, broken, jaded, wounded person can call a community for themselves and feel loved and non-judged by Christians.

I actually have made an amazing new friend, among the many I have made here in one Sunday, who grew up a Scientologist. He is not a believer of Jesus but he absolutely loves Mosaic and the people at this church. He brings his non-Christian friends with him too because he loves it so much. I made friends with his roommate who is a believer and says that this guy is starting to ask questions and comes around, but he's not quite there yet. But what a true image of what Christ's intentions for people are. These are exactly the first type of people the gravitate towards Jesus as the scriptures tell us and can feel loved and accepted by him. Have a homosexual walk into a southern baptist church today and I GUARANTEE you that is the last place on earth they would ever want to be. But see, Mosaic meets the people where they are and give more into a relationship than they can get from it. It's something I could talk about for hours but I am never going to make you feel the love this church relentlessly gives to others unselfishly until you experience it for yourself.

Much of what Erwin talked about this past Sunday was exactly this. It is a series on their 5 core values and this week it was Love represented by wind. hard to explain, but please download the podcast at www.mosaic.org. On the right side click on the link for podcasts and click on the most recent one. I t really was one of the most powerful messages I have ever witnessed.

May you love people for who they are, not who they should be. May your love for them be so strong that they can't help but gravitate towards the ultimate love given to us so freely by God. And may you be a church not bounded by a day of the week or walls of a building.