Stop trying to be Jesus and don’t expect others to be your Jesus.
There. That takes a load off of our relationships now doesn’t it? I wish I would have realized this sooner, but I don’t think I could have without seeing I expected too much. Jesus was the perfect friend, discipliner, listener, lover, speaker, and so on. We are not. Jesus is meant to fulfill the perfection we need from someone and he is the ONLY one meant to fulfill this, not our friends, parents, spouse, or pastor. We will all succeed in hurting each other because that is just what we do. I carry so much guilt and burden when I let someone down and it’s unbearable. I finally lifted that weight off my shoulders when God reminded me that I am not expected to be perfect. Thank goodness there is at least one person that will never succeed in failing me.
A few years ago I was talking with a friend about a relationship that I was having trouble with because there always seemed something to be wrong with it. She finally said to me one day, “Lacey, they are not Jesus. Quit trying to make them be Jesus to you. They are not meant to succeed at every aspect of a relationship”. I thought she was brilliant for saying this because it made me realize this is how we love, have mercy, and give grace to people. This is how Jesus loves in that he loves us knowing we will fail him and so this is how we are to be. We love knowing those people will fail us. We love despite other’s flaws.
I am not saying there is no validity in ever being angry, disappointed, or hurt by a person that lets you down. No, those emotions in fact are needed. We need to feel wounded sometimes because we have to see our worth. We need to know that we don’t deserve to be lied to, betrayed, forgotten, abused or used. This is not what God commands of our actions towards one another. But we must not hold on to these wounds which creates grudges which leads to bitterness. And being bitter is a pit you don’t want to fall in because it will eat you alive.
This realization that people are not meant to be Jesus to one another does not give legitimacy to being pessimistic about every relationship either. Your relationships will not be healthy if you always expect them to fail. We may hurt each other, but relationships take work and hard things can make it better, even stronger. We need to believe the best in people because that is how we can spur on one another, help each other, and be accountable. But know that you will see some things in people you never thought they we capable of, especially yourself. Jesus never said, “be me”. No, there is only one Jesus and he said, “follow me”. We are to follow his lead and be like him, but not be him. I am learning to take this heavy burden off of myself because I have been carrying way too much of what I think Christ would do. It’s too much to carry and I am not meant to carry it or be Jesus. I am human and can only bear so much and do so much. Jesus carried the weight of the world, not us. You can give yourself a break and quit feeling like you have to fix everything and be everything to everyone. You won’t fix anything actually. That’s not your job, it’s the Lord’s.
So let’s stop trying to seek Jesus in our relationships and let Jesus be Jesus.
