Living in Community

Community living is hard to do. I won't be the last person you hear it from if you know people who live in a real community. I am not talking about a community with neighborhoods where you have to share sidewalks and yards, or even the same stairs in an apartment complex, but a community that depends on each other every day to function and the kind you also can't get away from when you have your moments. It is very different than living with your family. It's so much harder. With your family you have to love them, and you do no matter what. You fight about clothes, food, the remote control, whose turn it is to take the dog on a walk, nagging each other about cleaning up. You get pissed at one another and then tomorrow is another day. With family you don't hold grudges so easily and you actually don't have to be so considerate all the time (just some of the time). You can get mad and it's normal. Things almost always go back to normal. But what do you do when all of this and more happens with the people who are not your family?

It doesn't look the same. You have to be considerate all the time. You have to know that there are about 10 people that have to be aware of one another's feelings all the time. In work, in play, in love, in secret. A community doesn't function like a family because you have to learn to love in spite of the complex things that can screw each other up. You have to learn to forgive because it won't be just another day tomorrow. It's not like you can just wake up and pretend as if nothing ever happened like you can with your family. Community living breaks you apart so much it's healthy. But it doesn't always look or feel like it's healthy.

A few months back I was talking to a friend and it is one of the most memorable conversations I think I have ever had. I remember every part of it, which is really rare with my memory. But I remember all of it because it was so profound and he had so much to say from a world away perspective (literally). The most insightful thing we talked about was community. He didn't become a Christian until he was in college so he has lived most of his life without God and can see a lot more clearly life without Christ. When he came to know the Lord and surrendered his life he noticed something right away. He said this

 

"You know the one thing that everybody gets when they come to know God is community. I have always had my buddies that would do anything for me you know, but that was not community. Not the kind of community you get when God is in your world.  No matter what happens in life the one thing Christ gives us is other people. Christ was never even alone in his ministry and we certainly are not called to it either. We are not meant to carry this life alone. We may have to for seasons of time, but we will actually still have people around us. And that is what's SO beautiful about Christianity. You can go anywhere in the world and find that you have a brother or sister you never knew existed."


I think about this part of the conversation all the time. It is a very pivotal thing for me in my life right now within my own community God has given me, in abundance. There is a lot that I have to carry and go through right now and I am surrounded by the people that are supposed to help me through it. A lap to cry on or a person I can run to for secrets. Yet there are people within my community at the same time who have been directly apart of that tearing down aspect God has allowed in my life. It's to grow me and mature me, I hope. 

But growing and maturing is hard. It's the hardest thing I have ever done. Honestly, I feel like I have been through 10 years of life experience just within 7 months. It's almost stupid how much I have been through emotionally and physically. And the phases to "get through it all"... well, that my friends is what will be included in the book. At the end of the day it all comes back to community. The good and the hard. It's true what they say, that oxymoron... "I can't live with it, but I can't live without it". God I want to know how to live with community better. Show me how to live and learn.

Giving My Secrets Away

Do you ever think of what it might be like in someone else's shoes? I mean, real hard core trying to understand what the hell they must feel like. 


I do.


Do you ever truly try and think about the weight some people have to carry? The thoughts that might actually go into their soul and literally tear them apart?


I do.


Have you ever tried to put aside your selfishness and just do whatever it takes to love someone and be there for them?


I have.


Did you know that words can really break bones and that sometimes people pray to have sticks and stones hurt them instead?


I know.


Have you ever been in so much emotional and spiritual pain that it literally makes you body respond in physical pain?


I have. 


Have you ever thought yourself insane because you seem to be the only one to hope in the people around you when you really shouldn't?


Yep. I have.


Do you ever look at yourself and wonder if you actually give a damn about other people? Do you think about how they might accept this action or sentence because you care about them?


Yes, I have.


There comes a point in all of our lives where we have to look around and realize everyone we know is in pain, or that it is coming soon for them. There comes a time where you have to look at your own life and realize that no one will understand the weight of your burden and you cannot understand or see theirs. But love is supposed to be a kind of understanding right? An understanding that will be rare for the rest of the world, but not for those special people (or person). But how do you roll out of bed everyday when you don't have that love around you? How do you make it to the morning shower, or stay focused on the road you must drive on to get to work, or reminding yourself that you have to eat, or picking up the phone to let your parents know you are surviving the next few hours. How do you respond to people who need things from you like a fax, a spreadsheet, or change for a dollar? How do you pull yourself together when you see people that want to talk to you and it's too late to ignore them? How do you keep friends when you don't literally have the energy anymore to even let them know you need them? How do you remember that you have a life to live when they one you are living in has died? Can you even know if there is a new life out there for you?

There comes another point on our life when we have to throw off the old and put on the new. I am not just talking about when we decide to follow Christ, throwing out our former ways for a new way of life. Sometimes things can be a dead end which forces you to go in a completely different direction. What if you and I are called to that now? Then we have to learn that Jesus is enough. It's not easy saying that or even staying in that calling for a period of time. He has to be enough for His word, life, death, and resurrection to be true. He Is Enough. Sometimes you can't count on people and we will all have to learn that the hard way to understand the only One who we can count on. It's hard, yes. Because Jesus isn't physical for us when we need a lap to cry on, a hand to wipe our tears and stroke our hair, or to just touch us for a moment. No, He is far greater than that, we have to believe. 


I have questions, oh lots of them. I have no answers. I don't even really have specific prayers. That's the truth of where I stand. I am starting to not like change as much as I used to really love it. Sometimes I just want stability. Peace. Comfort. An unchanging place or thing. But I think I long for that because I know I am called to a life different than that. You always want what you don't have is what they say. 



I have unanswered prayers
I have trouble I wish wasn't there
And I have asked a thousand ways
That You would take my pain away
That You would take my pain away

I am trying to understand
How to walk this weary land
Make straight the paths that crookedly lie
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands

When You walked upon the Earth
You healed the broken, lost, and hurt
I know You hate to see me cry
One day You will set all things right
Yea, one day You will set all things right

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands

Your hands
Your hands that shape the world 
Are holding me, they hold me still
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave You when...

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave...
I never leave Your hands 
-JJ Heller

Words to Live By (Dr. Seuss)

•I meant what I said and I said what I meant.

•Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.

•You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.

•Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

•Just tell yourself, Duckie, you're really quite lucky!

•I like nonsense; it wakes up the brain cells.

•Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try.

•Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

•A person's a person, no matter how small.

•Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.

•The storm starts, when the drops start dropping, When the drops stop dropping then the storm starts stopping.

 
 
So I have been on quite the Dr. Seuss kick lately. I went to the bookstore for hours the other day and read a lot of his children's books. It is brilliantly amazing at the audience he appeals to, for it is not just kids. I really think that Seuss had the intention of teaching both the child and adult life lessons while writing his interesting books. He knew parents would read them to their kids. For kids, the rhyme, pictures, and imagination is just fun, and for adults it takes us back to the "simple" life lessons. They are so simple and basic we forget them.

It reminds me of the words that Jesus spoke about having faith like a child to receive Him, "Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.” (Mark 10:13-16) I love being reminded that it is God's children who enter into His kingdom, humble and innocent. In my opinion, the older we get the more powerful the faith of a child becomes because a kid doesn't always ask why or how, they just believe and obey (most of the time). There is a simplicity to life, love, and Jesus. Of course the older you get, the more 'exceptions' we see to every rule, but we often forget where we first begun. "Treat others the way you want to be treated". "Share." "Don't be rude." "Don't hit." "Don't steal." "Say thank you", etc.
Dr. Seuss seems to never forget that life can be simple, we just have to be reminded of it.

Below is the full text to his most popular book, "Oh! The Places You Will Go!" I have never been so moved after reading it until the other day. Life has gotten beyond hard and complex for me to handle, but then it became simple again after reading Dr. Seuss. "Go!" "Dream!" "Forgive" "You Matter" "Just Try!" "Have Fun!" are extremely common themes in all his books. Sometimes I need reminders. Somtimes life can be simple. Somtimes the answer is easy.

And so say's Dr. Seuss...

Congratulations!

Today is your day.

You're off to Great Places!

You're off and away!

You have brains in your head.

You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go.

You'll look up and down streets. Look 'em over with care.
About some you will say, "I don't choose to go there."
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
you're too smart to go down any not-so-good street.

And you may not find any

you'll want to go down.

In that case, of course,

you'll head straight out of town.

It's opener there

in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen

and frequently do

to people as brainy

and footsy as you.

And then things start to happen,

don't worry. Don't stew.

Just go right along.

You'll start happening too.

OH!

THE PLACES YOU'LL GO!

You'll be on your way up!

You'll be seeing great sights!

You'll join the high fliers
who soar to high heights.

You won't lag behind, because you'll have the speed.
You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you'll be best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don't.
Because, sometimes, you won't.

I'm sorry to say so
but, sadly, it's true
that Bang-ups
and Hang-ups
can happen to you.

You can get all hung up
in a prickle-ly perch.

And your gang will fly on.

You'll be left in a Lurch.

You'll come down from the Lurch
with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,
that you'll be in a Slump.

And when you're in a Slump,
you're not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself

is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.

Some windows are lighted. But mostly they're darked.
A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And IF you go in, should you turn left or right...
or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple it's not, I'm afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused
that you'll start in to race

down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace

and grind on for miles cross weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.

The Waiting Place...

...for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or the waiting around for a Yes or No
or waiting for their hair to grow.

Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for the wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.

Everyone is just waiting.
NO!
That's not for you!

Somehow you'll escape
all that waiting and staying
You'll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.

With banner flip-flapping,
once more you'll ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you're that kind of a guy!

Oh, the places you'll go! There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored. There are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with that ball
will make you the winning-est winner of all.
Fame! You'll be as famous as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Except when they don't
Because, sometimes they won't.

I'm afraid that some times
you'll play lonely games too.
Games you can't win
'cause you'll play against you.

All Alone!
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you'll be quite a lot.

And when you're alone, there's a very good chance
you'll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won't want to go on.

But on you will go
though the weather be foul.
On you will go
though your enemies prowl.
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl.

Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.

On and on you will hike,
And I know you'll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.

You'll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You'll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.

So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life's

a Great Balancing Act.

Just never foget to be dexterous and deft.

And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?

Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!

So...

be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray

or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,
You're off the Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So...get on your way!

A Fairytale

Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess that lived in an ivory tower. She had everything she ever wanted…except people because she was all alone. She had never known it any other way. One day it was raining and she heard a noise outside like she had never heard before. There was someone outside blowing a trumpet. They were looking for shelter from the rain and hoping someone would hear. The princess had no idea how to help them or let them in. You see this tower had only one window and no doors…

No, it’s not your beloved Rapunzel. Sounds similar, but there is no witch or prince involved. Just a girl who had everything she ever wanted. Then she found something she didn’t have and wanted. People.

But I want to go back to the beginning of the story. A princess who had everything she ever wanted. I imagine she must have a stunning tower, made of ivory of course. It would be large, yes, with a huge open window in which she would have a beautiful view over looking… a beach. Yes, a private beach. Not only does she have an amazing view, but the perfect amount of sea breeze could flow into her ivory tower so she could smell the waters and would make her sheer curtains flow with the rhythm of the wind. The most intriguing art would hang from her walls. Art that expressed her heart and also made her think of many things. She would have an endless supply of books that taught her everything (because in fairytale land you can do that). The birds were her friends because they were the only creatures that could make it up to window. She learned music through the birds and from the voices of the sea. Her wardrobe was to die for with diamonds to always make her glow.

The princess was happy with the things she had, but she knew she was alone. She longed for the people in the books that she would read. Deep down she thought she was not meant for that place, that beautiful ivory tower, but she couldn’t fathom what else she was meant for. The princess couldn’t think about it very much because it would make her sad. When she was sad she would make herself dance against the warm breeze that flowed into her tower until she forgot her sorrows.

Then one day, her life forever changed. She heard a different tune than nature had ever made, and a sight that was strangely familiar. It was familiar because it was other people, just like her! When she realized they needed shelter from the rain she didn’t know what to do. But she called out to the strangers to let them know she heard them. But to her dismay, she didn’t know what to do to help them. There was no door for them to come inside the tower. There were no stairs for her to run down and find them. Her hair was nowhere near long enough to use as a rope. She was stuck and miserable.

But then the princess had an idea. She beckoned the strangers to come to the tower. She then gathered as many things she could think of to help them. Blankets, umbrellas, cushions, sheets and food were all thrown out from her window. She didn’t care how beautiful or what they meant to her, this was her one chance to help people. To see them, to know them. The strangers were so thankful for her help. They were able to keep dry and full. When the rain stopped they thanked her for all her help and went on their way.

The princess was no longer sad. She dreamed of being able to go away from her beautiful tower, but then she thought to herself, “What if someone else needs help again and no one is here to help them?” So the princess stayed happy. She saw her purpose in life. It wasn’t to go anywhere and do anything really, but to do what she could with what she had been given (yet she never knew where it kept coming from).

*I had a friend text me this story because I guess she was curious as to how I would finish it. Either that or she was trying to get me to write.