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Wednesday, July 21, 2010

God On Mute

I talk. A lot. Especially if I like or hate something. You probably don’t like to be on the reciprocating side of me unless you are a good listener when it comes to a subject that I want to talk about.


I have had a lot to say the past year of my life. But this time, it’s more with words and conversations with God or just myself. Not that I am learning to really think before I speak, but I just speak a lot less these days. There has been a huge shift within me to have inward conversations more than outward because my entire life has been more of an outward conversation. I have always loved being so transparent and open, but there is a huge lesson with that character trait that needs to be learned, I suppose.

I am now aware of why my life has always been outward more than inward. It’s a scary thing to have conversations with God. I have begun to see to real depth of what conversations are with God. My words do not come back void. I know he hears me. I know deep down that God will answer my questions at some point. I know when I am wrong in my ramblings. Sometimes I can pretend and get frustrated with God and ask why he won’t speak to me or answer back. But no matter what, I know that He is listening. Oh, so intently. Not just hearing my words even, but my heart. I try to ignore it as much as I can ,especially when God isn’t so keen on responding right away, but then it always hits me that God hears. And then my words become so few. It’s like I begin to hesitate in the things I whine about or ask for. I begin to fear the Lord and realize how small I am in the grandeur of it all.

Lately most of my conversations have been one way which has been so frustrating and disheartening. I cry out, I plead, I ask. And nothing. Not a word, not a dream, not a vision, not a sound. It’s like I can feel God literally sitting next to me as my words spill out, but yet someone has pushed the mute button. He won’t speak. And He does it on purpose.

You see, we pray because we know God hears us. We pray because we have a hope that is deeper than all measure that God is going to save us. Subconsciously you pray because you know nothing else is the answer even when you don’t hear one from Him at the moment. It’s a power and love that I cannot explain, nor can anyone. You know what I am talking about. In your lowest moments when you long to be in heaven because then everything else would go away, when you want nothing but to scream your lungs out, or when all you know to do is cry, you speak to the one you know can save you. When all hope seems to be gone, realize that it is not.

This is what it means to have our hope in Christ. It’s an everlasting hope that surpasses life itself. So be encouraged. You fail and make the wrong choice, you disobey and walk away, but you still can hope. God on mute has taught me that.

Hebrews 5:7-10

“During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission. Although he was a son, he learned obedience through what he suffered and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him and was designated by God to be high priest in the order of Melchizedek”.

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