Happiness

Happiness hit her like a train on a track

Coming towards her stuck still no turning back

She hid around corners and she hid under beds

She killed it with kisses and from it she fled

The dark days are over the dark days are done

The horses are coming so you better run

Run fast for your mother run fast for your father

Run for your children, for yours sisters, and your brothers

Leave all your lovin, lovin behind

You can't carry it with you if you wanna survive

The dark days are over, the dark days are done

Can you hear the horses?

Cause here they come

And I never wanted anything from you

Except everything you had and what was left after that too

Run fast for your mother run fast for you father

Run for your children, for your sisters and your brothers

Leave all your lovin, lovin behind

You can't carry it with you if you wanna survive

The dark days are over the dark days are done

Can you hear the horses?

Cause here they come

The dark days are over the dark days are done

-Florence and the Machine

I have gotten to have some incredible experiences here already and this past Thursday I got to be a part of an incredible opportunity. The internship center that I work with had their annual gala fundraiser and it was hosted by the ambassador-at-large for Pakistan. An incredible husband and wife who give so much of their life and time to better this world and the biggest home I have ever been in. Oh, my, gosh. I literally felt like I was walking into royalty when in their home. Just the basement alone was big enough for 150 people to sit at 15 tables, a bar for food, and extra space for gathering for some chit chat and drinks. So just imagine how big the other 2 floors were. There were some big name people there including congressmen, ambassadors, diplomats, and even a couple of senators. I was so nervous the whole time thinking I didn't know the right manners of how to address some of these government officials the right way, should I cross my legs, sit or stand, and how do I properly exit this conversation? I will say that my view of politicians and those that work in the government has already changed. They actually are really nice people and seemed very genuine. But it was a faith-in-action dinner, so the people that came were there in support of a religious organization which says a little bit more about their character. Anyways, I made some great contacts and was a part of this great night that helped provide more funds for the work in the Middle East that the ICRD does. 

Oh yeah, Thanksgiving was amazing! Best one I have ever had and is going to be quite hard to top =) My parents came to D.C. along with all the extended family on my mother's side of the family. We have never spent a holiday with her family so this was a first for us and it turned out to be just priceless. We had 17 people here the entire week and we all fit into the house. It was the best feeling ever coming home to a full house after work that week. The day of Thanksgiving we had 30 people here. You can imagine how much turkey we had to prepare for that many people. To top it off, there was SO a talent show and everyone participated! 30 people with talents, well, more like attempted talents, but extremely entertaining nonetheless. The puppet show won the gold if you can believe it. Probably because it was the only legit talent.

I am slowly making friends here. I joined a Bible study with National Community Church and I love these girls I am getting to know. Sometimes starting over is your second chance and I think this surely is mine. It's a very unique perspective to have when starting over at this age when I have a large community and friends I have grown up with elsewhere and then having nothing. It's almost like a birds eye view of seeing how I have built past relationships and understanding how relationships did or did not work out before. I take the past and try and build a better future of how God intends me to relate to other people and who He wants me to be. A very humbling experience to say the least. Because the thing about starting over is that you get to start over, but the thing about starting over is that you have to start over. It's work and requires endurance. Trusting God that He will put the right people in your life and waiting on it much of the time. I finally was able to have one on one time with one of the girls from the Bible study this past weekend and I am so glad that God has put her in my life. It's been very easy getting to know a lot of these girls which I am so thankful for. 

So I think I am doing more than fine here. I am feeling new and I haven't felt this about life in a long while. Not knowing where I am going to be the next day or the next six months has its perks. Since I was four and my little girl dreams of a big life began, I made everything in life, circumstances, places, and people, all about where I was supposed to go and who I thought I was supposed to be. Now that life is no longer about that dream, I have choices to make in my every new decision and circumstances about what they will now mean. I don't know where I am going, but I know it's still somewhere big. My life still means something and I want it to mean something to this world in some way, shape or form. Everything is still going to teach me lessons and build character in me for whatever is next, even though I don't know where that is for the moment. So maybe it's not the dreamer part of me that God has taken away, just the specific dream. It's still very hard to let go, since my life was basically built around a specific dream of ministry, but I am finding myself smiling for no reason all the time now. I have no particular thing I think of, but I just want to dance it out in the street when I am walking my 8 blocks to work and listening to my background music. I think maybe that's when you know you are happy again. There is no thing to attribute your emotion of happiness to. It's just the blessing God has given to you once again and you can't explain it. No person or circumstance can claim this, only God. That's happiness.

P.S. I sort of changed the lyrics a bit to make it sound better, I think. Because you can do that when you are the writer :)